The Kitchen of Madness

It has been a year now (well plus a few days), since the last serious suicide attempt. Somehow it darkened the month of August permanently; I’ll just put the blame on you morons, because causing destruction and horror is the only thing you’ve been proven to be capable at.

It’s simply the core of your program. And you are the ones who refuse to admit it, which is incredible.

Yes around that time I also lost the one friend who had come here twice to visit me, isn’t it. I’m sure it’s called reprogramming. Social reprogramming that is.

Brother no. 1 is omnipotent, isn’t he 🙂

Yes we were good friends. It turned out that we chose to be that way. There was a time she wanted more, I mentioned it a bit, but I simply never wanted to, for simple reasons: When we met I was on the verge of completely getting rid of the psychiatric industry, and never wanted to have anything to do with them again. She felt like a revisit, for reasons written down before.

That would just never happen again. Knowing people is one thing, but nothing ever like that again. The destruction that industry has caused during my teens, right?

Which is funny, isn’t it. Because the past decade plus have been those freaks, plus chess playing ubermensch, plus religious freak, plus autistic imbecile, plus mathematical chairman, plus linguistic whatever, plus unemployed computerguy, plus whatever else going on an unprecedented rampage.

Their plans always work really well. A decade wasted, health gone, everything gone, talents wasted, future gone, everything donated to the retarded experiments and lunatic thoughts of a bunch of geniuses.

Yeah but we literally decided on keeping it that way. Hey younger people do that sometimes, and in this case, so did we. I thought we’d be friends until one of us really passed away, in the sense of just being dead.

However you folk did your job. Hiring a bunch of freaks for your fake campaign, and one of the more genius irl things during time, that was one campaign too many, don’t you think? You should never have done this in the first place, but sending English people to claim that they have been North Korean tour guides together with your best Thai friends and some lunatic locals might have been somewhat over the top.

Somewhat, who knows, right. But hey, at least I know why you put me next to a recycling center for a year!

Yeah do your worst. I’ve been reckoning with imbeciles for a living for at least a decade now….I can handle you the way you like best. Go on and torture. Do your job!

And then blame me for your lunatic program, right. Isn’t that what you do?

I ran into some old blogs of mine. Most are gone to be fair, but I ran into one that was still in my bookmarks. It was around that time that I completely gave up. There was not much real content anymore. Back then you could easily have saved me still, but you were obsessed with your programs. It was too good to be true. I hardly took it seriously.

Every now and then a bit, but it was so delusional that yeah. And it really turned out to be complete nonsense, so I’m glad I didn’t waste too much of my time on it. It was also too obvious; everything had always to have a negative result and this, and that, and blah, and blah, and all kinds of superobvious really lousy shit.

So yeah. Ah yeah, in the political realm my ‘allies’ were ‘chosen’ with some Freudian nonsense on top of it. It was sad. It still is sad. My life wasted on the hobbies of a bunch of freaks.

There was still a bit of content though, and my writing style was much better I think. It was already going downhill, but I looked at a few posts, and at least there was still just me writing. A heavily frustrated me, because you had just taken away my whole life, destroyed it and replaced with lunacy.

Right?

This post sums it up rather well:

https://weseawaves.wordpress.com/2015/11/06/the-tale-of-the-guy-who-had-to-cope-with-an-endless-amount-of-complete-bullshit/

That was November 2015. We’re almost a decade later. Completely wasted. And you really fucked me over as early as 2012. You started in 2010.

The only thing you had to do was simply notifying me of a few things, then in a few days I would have had everything remember and stuff, then there would have been a few weeks or months of horror. And that’s it.

Even in 2015 you could easily have done that. The horror would have been worse, and the few days of re-remembering had already been done. And big parts were already past tense. You could have send someone and drag me out of that shit, that, as per usual, you folk created for me with big reasons such as ‘very necessary’, ‘we are so smart’, and of course ‘this is a once ever possible scenario, we will never be able nor allowed to do this again’.

I notice that when I type about some real stuff I’m still narrating to myself. That was also the case 11+ years ago, when I just started writing the ‘2nd part’ of my blog writing.

Look at this one:

https://weseawaves.wordpress.com/2015/09/04/school-de-verfrissende-herontdekking-van-nummer-zes/

It was fading, but at least I had some venom left. I see now that I was even still typing non-edited Chinese. My Chinese really always needs an edit, so yeah, but still long blahblahblahnonsense stories in Chinese. Hey, you geniuses don’t even speak Chinese as a second language, so what do you do then? You conduct linguistic experiments that you otherwise never would be allowed to conduct.

That’s pretty obvious, right. Duh.

I saw another post yesterday though. I actually liked that one. Ok found it:

The blog post is not too serious, but actually has a serious point. It’s a bit of jargon in two languages so hard to understand, combined with some very frustrated language, but there’s actually also a glance of genius there. I mean a glance only, and I myself was the author so don’t take it too seriously:

but 裏面的「裏」and 丁字褲的「丁」也算吧。Let me figure out with my half drunk brains if that’s correct.

So the looks, the sound, and the meaning. I think you can argue about the sound. There is a 「里」inside 裏, and 丁, well it does mean needle or ‘spijker’ or whatever. I should have opened my mouth here, always kinda regretted it. Yeah, we’ll never know.

But thanks for spending my feeble talents on experiments. Really, it was an honour.

Will be continued.

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