I can’t believe this

Trust me when I say that I really and absolutely cannot fathom the exceptional ‘I-don’t-even-know-what-to-call-it-by-now’ of you folk. It’s really extremely frightning.

So. I guess. No one is ever going to tell me the real thing, but I guess I got it, with an 8 year delay or so. It was in Japan actually, in Osaka. By then over here the nonsense had mostly gone away to be fair. I came here every now and then to renew my 90-day visa exemption for Taiwan. I had no clue what to do at the time, that’s obvious. And I was writing already so you can go back and see what I wrote at the time. I don’t think it was interesting but who knows.

The real torture part was to start soon, but hadn’t yet. At least I wasn’t in pain the whole day, there was that. But things were not great.

So here come you folk. There was some hired Donkey (supposed to be another tourist) at the place where I usually stayed. It had a little community place I guess, where I was learning some Hiragana I think, watching tv, and chatting a little bit. I don’t think it was a youth hostel, but it was cheap and you got your own room, so it surely was a hotel or so, but like the cheapest in any big city I guess. But it was much more relaxing than normal life, so those 4-5 days I used to spend there every now and then were pretty okay. Heck, by then I even got tourism advice from the working folk there. Things had –at least around there– mellowed down a bit. Not totally, but a fair amount.

All right. Well it’s your own genius so you know what I’m going to write down right. WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT BREAD OF ALL FUCKING THINGS. NO SERIOUSLY, BREAD. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT BREAD.

Yup, that’s what we’re gonna talk about. This guy made this really curious comment. He said that the main female reproductive organ (or whatever you call, most people would just call it a cat, really) was like bread. Yes seriously. And the point was that this type of bread was apparently only okay until one was 27. Bread goes bad, he explained, so after the first 27 golden years it’s just going bad or so and yeah then it’s just not good anymore. What did he say, that ‘it gets soft and rotten’ or so? Whatever it was.

I was perplexed on like 5 million levels. I had no idea what this guy was talking about. But I just said ‘yeah I understand’ and tried to get over it asap. By then I had already listened to so much lunatic nonsense that this really was ‘straight into the garbage bin’ level kind of stuff.

I think I have now understood what you were thinking. Yesterday to be exact. I have no words for this. Well, it’s obvious that I haven’t had many words for that particular sequence of events for quite some time. Over a decade I guess. I do not know what to say.

Other than that I’m going to spend my whole life killing who and whatever has been behind this lunacy. So. Now that I know how old the butterflies in question actually are (I knew approximately but not really, I mean she could have been anything between 1 and 4 years younger than me I guess, it’s not that I cared much about the exact age), I think I understand.

Yes. That was the point. Never give me an AK ’47 in my life cuz you’ll be dead.

I don’t understand this. You surely recorded my 31st birthday, the final day we saw each other. Can you tell me what I said to her that day? Cuz I can’t. I was rambling some complete nonsense that I don’t even understand myself.

Luckily you folk made it even worse simply by going on insisting that the lunacy had to go on and everything had to be linked to it. That was superimportant from the get-go, and had already been important for years. You cranked it up, because it was so important.

Everything is connected, remember?

It is. You freaks must have gone euphoric once again.

I still feel really ill when I think about what happened back then and during the subsequent years. It will not heal. And that was by design.

You designed this monstrocity.

I don’t know what to say.

I have a few posts in the pipeline. At least I have some material again.

But is so extremely beyond lunatic,

that I just don’t know.

But at least you were capable of ruining my life with all that shit.

I guess it must have been worth it.

And finally, if you can’t get this easy shit straight, what the hell do you think you can get straight?!

Predicting where I have lunch and what brand of beer I would buy?

I mean seriously, that’s all?

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