There used to be many appendices back in the day 😛 I do think there won’t be many now. I went to China twice. The first time was weird, but that’s normal. The first time to China is always going to be different, unless you stay in some superdeveloped place in a luxury hotel or in a mall or something like that.
There’s not much to say about the second time to China. They had prepared a whole circus along of the big storyline of the shitshow, which was complete and utter bullshit to begin with. But hey, you got baited, and apparently the Mainlanders were very willing to listen to all that crap as well.
Let’s ramble a bit about my first time to China (end of 2008). A lot came by lately I didn’t say out loud by the way. It’s just that my Chinese also has flaws sometimes, and that was in the first half of the first year of uni, and there were many things in those months I really had to get used to, because university and language school aren’t exactly the same. I wrote about that already years ago, and yes, that was normal actually. So yeah, the strange thing is that I never talked about big sisters lol, and at the time didn’t even seriously know it had another meaning on top of it.
I mean, half, these things can mean many things. It’s a bit puzzling, but now that I know I can also say that actually it’s not relevant at all. It never was to begin with.
Some of those people are really weird. They truly have the same diseases as some Taiwanese but worse. At the same time were most people actually normal and friendly. The place is different, it’s hard to explain.
My friend had prepared quite a lengthy tour, which was nice. I’ve mentioned more or less everything before as well. Well I could go superdetailed, but that’s not really necessary. I could actually, but it’s not relevant. I saw a lot.
So a year later my classmate for some reason wanted to go to China with me, right. I told you the ‘local’ reaction already here (which is something they always conveniently forget about, and also that this particular classmate had 18 year old kindergartenkids running after her when she went to the toilet once. I mean, seriously, right, and then they say things about me.)
Yeah so I got put on a waiting list, obviously for someone on the Mainland. Such a strange flex, isn’t it. They’ve been obsessed with this for 20 years now, which maybe shows off true narcissism and nothing more than that. And no, obviously I’m not going to be happy about that.
Then they did the same thing as they always do which is cutting off half of my social relations here, which obviously is not going to end well. It doesn’t take an Einstein to realize that, unless you’re Taiwanese of course.
So I wrote down that I started self-destructing. I did not say how. Well it’s easy. It was only online at that time, and I started replying and saying all kinds of stuff about myself to others (especially when they asked), which were not true. That little leftover from childhood, remember. It became worse and worse. And they made it worse and worse, especially when they returned while I was fixing up myself with the purpose of hugging someone a bit more often, and ‘somewhat’ more seriously.
And they just went on and on and then I freaked out of course. i mean seriously who drugs someone up like that and then even goes on for months, right.
And the rest is just that really scary disability they gave me at school. I wrote it down already. They could have fixed it easily, but they were obviously ‘talking to the real person’ and all that bullcrap. Who believes that shit. I even wrote it down literally for them almost a decade ago. These freaks are completely nuts.
So I already explained this, but here it comes again: When I was young (I have given a few examples and there are a gazillion more) I got two decades of training in downtalking myself. You can ask my mother, even she was very surprised about it, but it was happening, especially in (but not limited to) the educational and chess world. Surprise, surprise, right.
So If I would say. ‘Hey, but I can do this too, or, I can do this already.’ then the answer would always be ‘No you can’t. Don’t be arrogant.’ and then I simply had to go on saying ‘Okay, I can’t’, while in reality I was capable of said thing. It has consequences, and they became liferuining immediately when I was thrown into psychiatry (just after I won the Dutch chess championships and was kicked out of school, so second half 1998/when I was 16 years old).
When I took control of my own life again around my 21st I was capable of slowly getting things back to normal and the final (rather big) thing got more or less completely solved when I was 31. But by then the freaks had big plans lined up already, so it was all in vain.
So that’s what happened. I got handed an insane amount of abuse which had amongst others this particular effect, then I fixed myself up more or less, then you spent years and years on making me ill again and reactivating it, and then you pretended you were talking to ‘the real person’ while in fact you had spent years on making me really ill and now were blocking all ways to get healthy again, and in fact were very busy making me sicker and sicker instead. I didn’t have to do much, just sitting through it and watching you display your endless stupidity. And it doesn’t matter where you are from apparently, you were all very eager to believe what you had been wanting to believe all the time, regardless of being from the US, China, or anywhere in between.
It has been well over a decade now, and the scope of your atrocity truly is limitless. You’re almost like the real life pi!
(How dumb can you be, right.)
And this time you’re not going to get away with it, because it’s all written down. Go back and read from the start.
I could have been living a normal life now.
I could have been with someone I loved now.
I could have done something standard for a living now.
I could have been living somewhere in some peace now.
I could have been an expert on something that no one understands.
I could…
I could…
…..
So, if I have any power then I can say this:
Solve everything and everyone that was involved in this.
